Sunday, January 16, 2011


I need your guy's help, opinions, and advice.

Heres the situtaion: My sis-in-law is talking like she's going to go start working as a pumper (part-time) more or less. Her husband and her are trying to get things together to be their own contractor and start their own pumping business. So she was telling her mother last night all the people she's going to have to help watch her girls while she does this, for its a long boring day for them (of course). Luckily my name wasn't on the list since I'm pregnant, she doesn't want to give me the extra stress. But that doesn't mean I'm off scotch free later on down the road, (and I'm talking in general). So I'm asking what do you feel the reasonable response is?

My feelings: I feel that a mother should be home with her children while they are young. Once they are in school and the mother wants to work or needs to work she should do it, but to always remember that her family is her top priority. Now if the mother has to work because of finiacial situtation or family circumstances, then I totally understand that. And I would be ok helping someone out in that situtaion. Now a person who is going to work, doesn't need the extra money, so she turns to those family members to help her out and watch her kids with no payment I think is wrong. She is going to work, making extra money, she can pay to have her children watched. Am I wrong and cold hearted?

If I get asked in the future by a family member to watch their kids so they can go to work (circumstance permitting) would I be wrong in saying only if you pay me to do so? Or am I in the right? I have no problem watching the kids when they go to the city, shopping, doctors appointments, etc, they do the same for me.

Whats your thoughts? Seriously I know I'll get asked to do this in the future.


  1. I don't mind watching my sisters kids without pay, especially because they help with Jack. I do know that I can't feed them baby cereal, so I appreciate it when she brings food for them, or sets aside some money so I can by them food (assuming they are staying for a longer time period). She also doesn't just assume I will watch them, because she knows that really ticks me off. Of course she knows I will, but she always asks me first. Secondly, I am learning fast that not all parents have the same style, views or concerns about their kids-and that sucks, but no matter what you think or say you can't change their minds. If I were you, knowing that I personally couldn't handle a ton of kids everyday would tell the parents I could help maybe one or two days a week-BUT that I would need help with food and money for things to do like the museum and stuff like that. I wouldn't want my kids to miss out on a special event just because I couldn't pay for all of them to go. It's a hard place to be-good luck!

  2. I don't think that watching kids on occasion for free is bad especially for dates or emergencies. However, I agree that if you are making money you shouldn't take advantage of your family just because you can. For example, my sister Aaryn is working at the high school part-time now. Caleb is 4 and goes to preschool but two of the days she works she needs someone to watch them. Whoever it is she will pay whether it is my mom a neighbor ect. She has always done this and it has been appreciated. My mom did not ask for this but appreciates the fact that she is not being taken advantage of. Aaryn would have to pay for a daycare so she pays the same rate to family. I do not think you are cold hearted. You just don't want to be walked over or taken advantage of because you choose to be at home with your children.

  3. There was a time in my life when I had to work, but couldn't afford a babysitter (When I was interning and only getting a small paycheck) for those days I am truly grateful for a wonderful sister-in-law who watched my baby! I'd love to be a stay at home mom, but it just isn't in my cards. However, my husband and I decided we'd be okay with me only working part time so that I could be home with the kiddies more. We do pay the babysitters. As a working mom it's sometimes difficult to find someone whom you trust to take wonderful care of your little ones. I pay because I don't want them to think I am taking advantage of them and to let them know how grateful I am to have them in mine and my children's lives. My sister-in-law doesn't watch my kiddies on a regular basis for me. She said it was just too much. I respect her. I think you just have to be honest and express your thoughts. Also I have two babysitters so that hopefully it doesn't get too stressfull for one person. four hours twice a week is doable right? okay now I am just going on forever! Sorry!

  4. Thanks everyone! That helps me know that I'm not being a scrooge by letting them know they need to help me out so I can watch their kids, while they are away working.


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